12/18/2023 0 Comments Just checking on you text from ex![]() When it comes down to how to respond to an ex asking how you are, a lotĭepends on how long ago you broke up, how often they try to come and go (yes, one of those situations), are they generally caring and it’s the holidays, and on and on. Matchmaker and CEO, Exclusive Matchmaking They just want to boost their self-esteem It takes very little work and no thought on his part, but it opens a line of communication so you can start talking again.Įven though he may want something from you, he’s expecting you to do the heavy lifting and possibly make some confessions. “How are you doing?” is just an easy, lazy, and polite way for him to butt himself back into your life. Sometimes a message like this can be a temperature check to see how you feel about him. ![]() Why is he reaching out now? This insight will shape the appropriate response from your end. Giving long, detailed answers and explanations may not serve you, especially when your ex has barely shared much about his life with you. Why now? If you must ask this question and are cautious at all, it’s best to proceed with caution. If the relationship was generally unhealthy or ended badly, don’t expect much to change now. If he was supportive, this is probably a genuine, well-meaning question.Was your ex usually supportive or critical of you?.Did both people mutually agree it just wasn’t a good match?.Was it an emotional breakup that was one-sided?.Was there a lot of fighting, arguments, dishonesty, and manipulation?.Relationship Coach | Author, “ Girl, You Deserve More: How to Break His Spell over You, Escape Your Toxic Partner, and Become Independent“ Question their motivationĪ lot of this depends on the health of your relationship with your ex and how you broke up. Don’t let yourself be manipulated or coerced into old wounds that get to stay sealed. The goal is to gain a clear understanding of what feels best for you. Don’t feel rushed in making a decision just because we live in an instant gratification world (thank you, social media). It isn’t about wanting to look good or being a people pleaser. The best thing you can do is take a moment and decide what the best next step for you is. You never know why they are reaching out and reappearing in your life. The last thing you need is to be brought back into a world you left for a reason. However, if your breakup was traumatic or tough, you do not want to re-open wounds that have already been closed.Ĭonnecting with your ex might trigger you, cause you to bring him back to the forefront of your mind, and bring the energy of the breakup back into your life. Other options to consider may make more sense given your breakup or perhaps where you are now emotionally and mentally. The best response to your ex is no response It is a casual reply that acknowledges the text/message and allows you to be authentic to yourself. This implies you are a kind person who has moved on, and they are not someone you think about anymore. Or perhaps you might send a “thumbs up” emoji or meme back? Replying with kindness and respect is the answer.Īnother answer that does not leave the door open for a reply is writing back with “I’m great, thanks.” “What would I respond to a friend from my past randomly texting me?”īeing polite, not overly anxious or rude. If you choose to reply, the next step is to ask yourself:
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